“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13 (NLT)
Depression is real. It is an emotional roller coaster most sexual assault and abuse survivors deal with at some point along their journey. It is not the made up depression you hear people say when their favorite ball team loses. “Oh, I’m so depressed the Chiefs lost last night!”
It steals your joy, energy, care, and willingness to do anything even if you want to. Depression takes your sleep or makes you sleep, robs or increases your appetite, causes you to hurt physically and emotionally.
Depression leaves you in puddles of tears many days, whiles other days it leaves you numb. It may also come with suicidal thoughts. These especially can bring unrealistic shame, are dangerous, and should always be told to someone. It is not your fault you have these thoughts. You can get help.
I know depression well. I have Major Depressive Disorder. Which means I have episodes of long term depression. I may go for a few months without being very depressed and then, out of nowhere, the depression is upon me again.
I have come to realize when the depression hits me I need to take steps quickly to not enter into my cocoon. I also realize my episodes are easily triggered and related to my sexual assaults and the trauma experiences through them.
My recent episode of depression right now is a battle once again, to make myself eat, stay out of bed and off the couch. To do what I can. However, I know I can’t do it on my own. The verse God laid on my heart to share with you is Philippians 4:13. “For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.” (NLT) I do not bring it to you as a cliché or platitude which I feel will be the end to all your troubles. Simply, we must rely on Him for our strength, for we can’t do this life alone. Especially during depression.
One verse and one prayer will not lift you out of your depression and heal you, it is a journey and a mountain you must climb. You can do it, one step at a time, with Christ who gives you strength.
I pray you find your way out of depression if you are in the valley right now. Will you allow Christ to strengthen you and walk it with you? We were never meant to walk this road alone. I would not have written this without His strength.
I find myself once again in the depths of depression. I do not feel like doing anything. It is only with your strength I am able to accomplish tasks and walk through each day. Please strengthen me, guide me, and help me do the things needed to get better. Strength to exercise, eat, and stay out of bed. Help me through this valley God.
© 2017 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.