“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36 (NIV)
Freedom. It is hard to imagine freedom when you have been bound by abusers, perpetrators, and our past. What was done to us has a way of holding us down. Not allowing room for anything else in our lives.
Over the past 9 years as I’ve walked this journey of recovery I have felt like I have had shackles on my feet, hands, and even my mouth. Like a prisoner held captive by her abusers and what was done to me, I felt ashamed and unworthy to move forward.
Think of how a prisoner moves with shackles on his/her feet. Shuffling one foot forward and then the other, slowly, methodically. With no hope of freedom in sight.
As survivors of sexual abuse and assault we too can end up like the prisoner, shuffling along with our shackles and mouths closed. Afraid to move forward, afraid to talk.
However, I have found, through writing about my experiences and sharing them, there is freedom in voicing what happened.
I’m just letting the world know; “I was sexually abused. I was raped. I was molested. It wasn’t my fault. I don’t care if it makes you uncomfortable to hear me say it, I was violated, many times. It was not okay. Our society needs to step up and recognize this is happening everywhere.”
I have released the first shackle from my body. My mouth is able to speak. Through my hands, but it is speaking.
Now, it is time to release the other shackles. I need to realize who I am in Christ. I am not bound by anything. Jesus says, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36 (NIV)
I am asking God to release my shackles. I do not need to shuffle through my recovery. I have Jesus with me. Right by my side. He will walk with me. It does not mean I need to speed through the process. It is still a process and takes time and work with professionals guiding us through our recovery.
God has equipped people to specialize in helping those of us in recovery from abuse and rape. He has placed them there to help us, but He needs us to allow Him to set us free to walk, not shuffle through our recovery.
Even as I write this I know this change will be a hard one. I am used to my little steps. Am I ready for bigger, adult sized steps? The answer is in God’s word.
Yes. Because God says “We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.” Philippians 4:13
God has set us free. He gives us the strength. He is there waiting for you and me to take Him up on the offer to allow Him to do it for us.
Will you join me in accepting your freedom in Christ so you can walk your road of recovery in freedom?
I ask for you to allow me to accept the freedom you give me and the strength you provide as I walk this journey through recovery. I want to walk, not shuffle with shackles on, through this hard road, and I want to do it with You by my side. I want freedom in You. I don’t want to be bound anymore.
© 2018 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.