“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 NIV
“Just choose to be happy.” She said. “The Bible says to believe in my unbelief. To be joyful and to give thanks in all circumstances. Have you read the pastor’s book? I believe the devil has a foothold on you.”
She droned on and on. I listened and nodded. If she only knew what it’s like to doubt because of the things done to you.
I responded a little letting her know I was working on not letting Satan not have any ground, but it is a constant battle. The rest I just kept nodding. Then, when she continued…
I politely said, “I appreciate your concern, but I’m going to have to excuse myself from this conversation.” She smiled what looked like a fake smile and nodded okay as I turned and walked away doing my best not to turn around and give her a piece of my mind.
I know what the Bible says. I am constantly binding Satan in Jesus’ name. I do give thanks when I can, and I try to believe. It doesn’t “fix” the trauma I have to work through. It doesn’t make me “happy”.
Especially when depression cannot always be helped. It can be chemically driven as can anxiety. Complex PTSD did not get its’ name because of one trauma.
It’s complex because it’s based on many traumas occurring over a period of time. Leaving behind what looks like the aftermath of a category five hurricane in the life of the person affected.
The thing about opening up to other people is they cannot accept who we are and what we come with. They expect a “reset’ button. A simple fix to a complex situation. (Though I hesitate to call it a situation – it’s trauma.) They are uncomfortable with what we are experiencing and they do not want to feel it.
We have no choice but to feel it. To live it. Each and every day. However, there is good news on this dark journey.
With God we can always come just as we are. Broken, depressed, upset, distraught, confused, alone, frustrated, or angry. He does not expect us to put on a front. Jesus said, in Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
He does not ask us to change who we are to be with Him. He does not even say to us what we are going through is trivial. He knows and understands our burdens better than anyone on earth ever can. So He simply says, “Come…and I will give you rest.”
Are you tired on your journey to recovery like I am?
It can be hard to accept and understand, but all we really need to do is come to God. We don’t have to change anything first.
Come just as you are…and rest in His arms.
You are the only One who truly understands my pain and all that happened to me. Thank you for being the refuge I need when I have good days and when I have bad. Help me to remember I don’t have to change anything about myself to come to You. I’m glad I can come to You just as I am.
© 2018 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.