“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. “Exodus 14:14
I have been fighting really hard for myself lately. Thinking that I was fighting with God. Like I needed to do battle for Him. Somehow I got it in my mind that He wasn’t able to handle anything. Basically thinking God needed my help. Which is such a crazy idea.
Then I started feeling really inadequate. Like I wasn’t worthy to talk to God. I made a lot of judgments about myself. Like why could I not get through a prayer without my mind wondering? What kind of Christian was I if I can’t even talk to God?
I’ve been judging every single one of my thoughts. If they didn’t line up with what I thought was good then I figure I’m really bad. What good am I to God? He obviously can’t use me if I’m broken.
I’ve been battling this for days. Maybe even weeks. Possibly years. It just came to light more recently. Because things have finally started to move forward. Recovery, though slow, is actually finally happening. God has truly been working. Not that He hadn’t before, but I’d finally been allowing it lately.
So when I realized I hadn’t been writing or able to communicate with God, I did my best to pray. Even yesterday I had judgments about my prayer. Finally last night, God helped me realize the enemy is real. The devil does prowl around like a roaring lion. And I’ve been letting him. So last night I called upon God to put Satan in his place.
I asked God to begin to show me the freedom again in Him, and to use me through writing.
Today for the first time in a week and a half I’m able to write what God is laying on my heart. But I had to be still. I had to let God fight for me. Just like Moses told the Israelites when the Egyptians were coming after them. He said, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14
So many times in recovery we try to do it on our own because that seems to be how we tried to get through what happened to us. But we don’t have to do that anymore. God wants us to rely on Him. Allow Him to fight for us. It doesn’t mean we don’t do anything.
Being still doesn’t mean we don’t pray, read His word, or ask for His help. But it does mean we can rely on Him. It’s just sometimes in the darkness of recovery we get lost.
So I’m glad God reminded me to allow Him to fight for me. To be still and know that He is God.
What is God reminding you of today?
© 2018 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.