“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…” Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV)
Fall in the mid-west is my favorite time of year. The change of temperature from hot to cool. Change of clothes from t-shirts to jeans and sweatshirts. Hot tea and soup. The beautiful colors of leaves as they change colors. It brings with it a fresh start, and a hope.
So, as I was looking through some previous writing I found this post written several months ago. It may not be true as I post it today, (which is days before you see this), but there are days and weeks where it is definitely still true. Knowing I felt this way then, and today I feel a little better but still need what this says, reminds me that yes, for everything there is a season. I hope this blesses you.
Maybe you have felt like I did today. Today I cried. All day. There were moments it would stop and then it would start all over again. How can I keep doing this? It is too overwhelming and even my therapist was not what I needed today.
I need a hug. I need someone to listen. I need a friend.
I knelt down to pray beside my bed instead I fell into it leaning on my side. Crying. “God help me. Please be with me.” Overcome by the feelings of the day.
As I leaned against my bed, tears flowing freely, I imagined God holding me and catching my tears. As I was still crying I said to God, “This is too hard. I can’t keep doing this.”
Therapy this morning had been rough. Working through memories and the effects they have on my life. Little by little. Piece by piece. Will it ever end? Does healing really come? All the questions from throughout the day flooded my mind.
My therapist promises me it will in time. One step at a time. He reminds me God has a plan to use this evil for His good. To help others. Healing will come.
I pray he is right. Because today all I have left is a cry out to a God who holds me and lets my tears fall on Him.
God whispers to me, “It is enough.” I am thankful it is.
Days like today seem too familiar. Therapy appointments moving at a snail’s pace and overwhelming emotions. I realize our time line is not yours. You remind us there is a season for everything. Please help me hold on for the season beyond this one.
What season are you in right now?
© 2018 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.