“So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:17-19
We feel the need to earn God’s love because our abusers made us feel we are not worthy. We feel condemnation easily. Shame embodies us. Voices from our abusers and what they did to us fill our minds and tell us we are not worthy of love. Especially God’s love.
In his book He Loves Me! this is what Wayne Jacobsen says about God and His love and our feelings to need to do something to earn it.
“He’s not interested in your service or sacrifice. He only wants you to know how much you are loved, hoping that you will choose to love him in return. Understand that, and everything else about your life will fall into place; miss that, and nothing else will make any difference.”
As survivors we often miss it. Instead of a loving God we see a judgmental, condemning, abusive God. We misplace our feelings for our abusers or perpetrators onto God.
This is hard for me as it most likely is for you. I am still coming to terms with it. Just the other day I was reading John 3:16-17. Verses I have known for longer than I can remember. Yet, I saw them in a new light.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God DID NOT send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”
What a revelation. Not to condemn, but to save me. You. He already knew the sins we would and will commit during our lives. No one is perfect. Yet unlike the voices in our head that say we aren’t good enough, God says, I came WITHOUT CONDEMNATION, FOR YOU.
I have written about God’s love numerous times. It is one of the hardest concepts for us to grasp. As we journey toward it I pray you begin to find His arms wrapped around you, “and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:19
© 2018 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.