“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes” Psalms 37:7 (NIV)
Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who was sexually assaulted. I know I’m not. I know people who have similar stories. If you’re reading this so do you. We most likely all have similar questions too. Why did God allow it to happen? If God understands everything we are going through how can He understand sexual abuse and assault?
I don’t claim to have the answer, but I have prayed to God a long time and the story of Jesus at the cross was where God led me.
In Matthew it describes Jesus having his clothes torn in front of everyone. Then, later in Matthew before Jesus is crucified, Matthew 27:28 (NIV) says, “They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him…”
After they mocked Him they stripped Him again (a second time) of the robe and put his clothes back on Him. His torn clothes. All of this in front of everyone. Humiliating. Shaming.
Jesus was stripped naked in front of everyone, twice. Assaulted, shamed, and humiliated. Sound familiar?
Then, He was nailed to the cross and hung there to die. He could have called the angels to come and rescue Him. He could have said “No, I don’t want to do this, it is too hard, too much. I can’t. I won’t.”
He could have gone home to Heaven whenever He wanted, but He didn’t. He went through hell, literally, for you and me. He endured more than any of us can imagine so we can experience eternity with Him. So we can have a relationship with Him. Be forgiven.
He had a choice and He chose humiliation, torture, shaming, and then He chose to die on the cross.
It has been hard for me to acknowledge, but I believe because of what Jesus went through, and because He is God, He knows how we feel. He endured torture for you and me when He did not have to.
I do not believe He wanted us to be sexually abused or assaulted. I believe it is a result of the sin of this world which led to it. However, God’s heart breaks because of the unspeakable things done to us. Our innocence was taken away.
Jesus had a choice. He chose to endure what He did not have to for you and for me. We did not get to choose what we endured, but we do get to choose who we hold onto now as we travel this journey of recovery.
God longs to hold you. Allow Him to embrace you. He’s waiting. Arms open wide.
I feel unworthy to come to you because of what was done to me. Help me know you understand how I feel and love me regardless of what others did to me. Today I need your arms embracing me.
© 2018 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.