Okay, so I have to be honest. The other day when I wrote about self-compassion I didn’t take my own advice. It was really easy to give it out, but not easy to take. My therapist pointed out today that I need to take my own advice to heart. What about you? Did you just read about self-compassion and not think it related to you. Guess what? It does.
I think of it in terms of teaching since I was a teacher. I would not condemn or be hard on a struggling student in my classroom. No, in a soothing tone I would say, “I realize this is hard for you. I know you can do it. We are going to work on this together and get through it. It’s going to be okay.”
Yet, how many times do I tell myself the opposite? You should be better than this by now! You should be over this! Get with the program! Why did you get mad! These are not helpful in anyway. In fact, Satan loves for us to tell ourselves these hurtful, condemning statements.
Instead we should be like God is to us. Full of compassion and love. God would not treat us with such harsh statements and judgments. He is a loving God wanting only what is best for us. He longs for us to get better just as much as we do.
So the next time you are struggling think about some more positive statements you can say to yourself:
“Yes, this is hard. You have been through more than a lot of people. It’s okay to feel the way you’re feeling. God loves you. You’re going to get through this. Take one step at a time. Minute by minute if you have to.”
Then, give yourself a hug. Yes, wrap your arms around yourself and squeeze! It feels good and you deserve it! Imagine God hugging you.
This is such an important part of our recovery. One that we must learn because being hard on ourselves comes with sexual assault. However, if we’re going to take steps forward we must begin to have compassion for ourselves just like we do anyone else who has faced what we have.
Open your arms and heart to yourself today. It is not selfish to do so. It is part of self-care. Healing. Welcome yourself with the love and grace you would anyone else who comes into your presence. That is what God does and shouldn’t we follow in His footsteps?
Love on yourself, not just today, but every day. Show compassion to yourself and remember you are not alone on this journey. Keep going one step at a time.
© 2019 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.