As a survivor of sexual assault you have probably had at least one time, if not more, that you were invalidated. Told nothing happened to you. You made it up. Or if they did believe you it wouldn’t have happened if only you had done this or that. So, it’s your fault.
Today, I was told another survivor who I thought was a friend thinks I’m making up my abuse. The thing is she is nice to my face. Acts like everything is okay, and behind my back she tells my friend I’m lying and making it all up. Who would do that to another survivor? Especially someone who has been through it themselves?
How can you add to someone’s pain like that? I do not understand it. I truly don’t. I have known this person as far back to when my abuse was happening so it could be she doesn’t want to own up to the fact she didn’t know what I was enduring. But still, to invalidate someone’s experience especially when you’ve endured it yourself baffles me.
However, it is a brutal reality in the lives of survivors. It hurts no matter who it comes from. It threatens to derail our recovery because we think, “How can I have the energy to keep fighting to get better when people are fighting against me?”
My energy is so low lately I’m barely able to keep going. My pain level is high. So many days I just want to give up. I know that’s what Satan wants. He wants us to give up.
I read in a spiritual warfare book recently that, “A demonic spirit desires to destroy those Christ loves enough to die for. They usually focus first on trying to keep people from knowing Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. If they fail in this assignment, their next job is to do everything possible to keep that born-again Christian self-absorbed and ineffective in ministering to others. If they can’t keep a person out of heaven, then making certain that Christian doesn’t help anyone else get there become plan B.” Spiritual Warfare by Dr. Karl Payne
That’s what Satan wants. To get us out of the game. Out the ultimate reason we are here. To have a relationship with God and bring others to Him as well. However, once we recognize what’s happening we can kick Satan out in the name of Jesus and ask God for the strength to endure anther hard battle.
We will be invalidated as survivors. Whether by just someone we encounter, family, friends, or even other survivors. Often those invalidating us are those who do not want to look at hard things in their lives themselves. We just have to keep on keeping on and looking to God for the strength to get through recovery so we can reach others for Him and He can receive the glory for our healing.
So, today I’m turning the invalidation that Satan meant for evil and to get me down over to God to use to encourage you and so God can get the glory for pulling me up today out of my pit. I couldn’t have done it myself. May you keep reaching others for God in your healing as you seek Him each and every day for the strength to continue through recovery.
© 2019 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.