I feel like I’ve wasted years not getting to know You. I’ve had to focus so much on staying alive and I’ve tried to do it myself much of the time that I forget to turn to You. It is hard for me to imagine how patient You are. Waiting for me to come to You, and loving me unconditionally.
You above anyone know what I’ve been through in life. You know the obstacles I face in healing and recovery. You know I am far from perfect and yet I try to be often. I want to please You, yet all You want is for me to seek You out and have a relationship with me.
So many people in this life have wanted things from me. Wanted me to give them what pleases them, but You are content with who I am. I struggle with how I look and wonder if I’ll ever be told I’m beautiful. The world tells me I should look one way, but You love me as I am. You are the one who created me and know every intricate detail about me. It is my job to take care of the body You gave me, not worship it. Help me to do this.
Many days I want to overeat to comfort myself, but I also know that is a temporary comfort and one that has negative effects on me. Help me find comfort in you and not in food or temporary things here on earth. You are the only One who can continually satisfy me.
I asked You recently to show Yourself to me and help me want to seek You out and You’ve been faithful to do this. Please continue to place in my heart a longing for You and eternity. The only things that will last.
Many days are hard and dark. I often want to just sit and veg out in front of the TV instead of learning more about You or what You have for me. Create in me a longing to seek You instead the earthly comfort I’m used to seeking.
As I continue to process all that has happened to me help me remember what I need to remember to get better. Heal all the broken places in me. I want to be the whole person You desire for me to be.
I’m on the edge of understanding Your love and trusting You know what’s best for me. Continue to develop this in me so I can show and tell others about You and how You’re turning the darkest time in my life into something beautiful. Something that will last in eternity by bringing me closer in a love relationship with You.
Remind me I’m never alone. Hold me and comfort me during the dark times I can’t feel You and wonder where You are. Never let me go. Thank you for loving me.
© 2019 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.