God and Sexual Assault

All Things Through Christ

Let God hold you.

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

Tonight my anxiety is out of control. I long to be held, comforted and told this will one day be over. For someone to say, “That it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

I babysat often when I was a teenager. Couples trusted me with their babies even though no one ever showed me what to do. How to fix a bottle. How to change a diaper. Burping. I also learned some of the harder parts too. Things I wish someone would have done for me – would still do for me, but never did.

One little girl whose parents asked me to babysit told me they’d had a hard time getting anyone to stay on. Their baby cried every time they left. Cried even when they were home, so no one wanted to watch her. The first night they left me with her she started out with the loudest, gut wrenching cries I’d ever heard. My heart went out to her.

I picked her up and went to the rocking chair. She was not hungry and didn’t need a diaper change. So I rocked and patted and rubbed her back while I sang praise songs and hymns softly to her. This went on for hours. She just kept crying, but it finally got softer as the hours passed until finally she fell asleep.

I don’t know what she was going through. Separation anxiety, colic, or something else, but she needed me to just be there with her through it. Holding her. Soothing her. I didn’t fix anything for her. I was just there. This went on every time I babysat her.

It reminds me of God right now. As much as I’d like Him to fix my anxiety, PTSD, and depression, heal all the trauma, He’s just holding me through it. Letting me know He’s here. Every single day. Time after time.

Like tonight I really wish He’d take my anxiety away, but instead it’s just a sense of “I’m here and I’m going to get you through this. Use My strength.”

So, tonight I’m asking God to hold me, soothe my anxiety and get me through yet another gut wrenching hard time.

He’s doing the same for you. What do you need to hold onto God for today?what do you do

God,

I know I crave human touch. To be held and loved by someone on this earth, but Your love and Your touch are beyond words. Help me feel You today. I need You to help me through ALL of this. Remind me this will one day be over. That it’s okay and You’ve got this. Reminding me I can do all things through You who gives me strength.

Amen

© 2019 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.

 

I am a former elementary school teacher who loves God. I am currently in the process of recovering from a childhood of sexual abuse and assaults. I am pursuing God's will for my life right now which involves following various writing endeavors and working on publishing some books. I feel God has led me to write this for my own healing, and to share with others who have been through the trauma of sexual assault.

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