God and Sexual Assault

God Takes Great Delight in You

God loves you.

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

When I read this verse this morning I immediately thought, “God takes great delight in me? Why? I’m a horrible, terrible person.”

While it is true none of us can earn God’s love because we are all sinners, God loves us anyway. Why? Because He is God. He created us. We are His children, and despite how some of us feel from our parents who were supposed to have unconditional love for us, God does possess this unconditional love.

There is absolutely nothing we can do or not do to make Him love us anymore or any less than He does this very moment. Praying enough prayers, reading the Bible, going to church, writing this blog, doing the “right” things will not make God love me more or less than right this minute.

His love is the same as it has always been. Which is so hard to comprehend because many people have said they love me and done horrible things to me or left me. Which makes me wonder what love is.

There is a woman from church who befriended me and told me God gave her this great love for me and for a while she said I was like a daughter to her, then she changed it to say I’m like a great friend to her. Very confusing for me.

Then take into account those who sexually abused and raped us yet told us they loved us how do we understand God’s love? How do we understand God takes great delight in us?

Well, for one we cannot depend on people to show us God’s love, though some will, many will not because humans are fallible. They will always fail us. We are all sinners and those of us saved are saved by grace.

We can only depend on God’s Word and our relationship with Him. The more time we spend with Him and in His Word the more we begin to understand His love. It is not something that happens overnight.

I am still on a journey to understand it. I’ve heard about God’s love most of my life, and I can repeat verses about God’s love to you from memory, but understanding God really does love me and takes delight in me just because He is God comes only from asking Him to show me.

For example, why would God save my life twice in a matter of days? Especially when I tried to take it? The second time I seriously attempted suicide I was in the hospital recovering and I had a pulmonary embolism in my lungs. A large blood clot that could have broken off and gone to my heart or brain.

If the nurse had not noticed my drop in oxygen level and gotten an emergency CAT scan, and started me on blood thinners I could have had a massive heart attack or stroke.

If I had not been in the hospital from my suicide attempt I would have died or had a massive stroke with significant permanent damage. Since I live alone who knows if I would have been found.

Only a God who loves me would save me from myself and also work it out to save me from what my body was doing against me. That is just one of many times God has brought to my mind when I asked Him to show me His love and to understand it.

Ask God to help you understand His love and to show you how much He loves you. Yes, I know if you ask most Christians they’ll say of course He loves you! Look how much He loves you He sent His own son to die for you! Except, you know what?

That is hard for me to understand as someone who will never have children. I cannot imagine what that feels like no matter how hard I try. Even if you do know it can still be hard to comprehend.you are special

God does love us and takes delight in us. He despises what happened to us, but longs for us to know and hide in His love so we can show and tell others about it.

God,

I struggle to understand that You delight in me and love me. Continue to show me how You love and delight in me. Help me comprehend Your great love so I can show and tell others. May You receive the glory.

Amen

© 2019 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

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