Listening to my pastor online Sunday he stated something to the effect of, “What all of us are going to face is the hardest time of our lives.” Hmmm, really? Because the last 10 years of my life have been harder than I ever could have imagined. If you’re reading this you have experienced trauma most can’t imagine, so you too likely have faced excruciating times.
Remembering all that happened to me growing up, losing my entire family because they can’t stand by me or healthy for me. Along with the loss of my career and job. Losing every single friend I had before my memories returned, spending holiday’s alone, and being in such darkness I tried to end my life more than once. On top of that I had a pulmonary embolism and was on oxygen for a month, and then a complete hysterectomy. Those were all dark times.
God has been faithful through it all. He’s been right beside me even when I didn’t acknowledge Him or trust He would provide me the strength to go on. Not once did He give up on me or stop calling me to come and rest in Him. It did take me several years to realize He was still there and loving me, but it doesn’t mean He ever left me. I had left Him.
So, as I think forward to self-quarantine… We’re asked here in the Kansas City area to stay-at-home for the next 30 days…and I just love being home alone! (Yes, note the sarcasm.) As I look forward to more time alone, less socialization, and the reality that I could get sick, I am more confident than ever that God will see me through whatever comes my way.
Another thing my pastor said was to read and meditate on Psalm 57 this week. That resonated much more with me as it is one of David’s cry for help. If you’re like me when someone suggests to look at something I tend to put it off. So to make it easier I have placed the Psalm here for you to meditate on.
I encourage you to spend some time with God and ask Him to speak to you through it. Remember as you continue through each day you are being prayed for as you continue your journey of healing, and through the time ahead where we are more isolated and possibly without some help we usually have. Stay healthy my friends and trust in the One who will continue to provide us strength!
Speak to my heart today as I read your word. Thank you for loving me and providing me the strength to continue through each day despite the struggles of depression, anxiety, and PTSD. No matter what lies ahead I trust you to see me through and bring about your good. Bring this country to it’s knees through this virus so we can get back to seeking and praising You. May we take refuge in Your wings.
In Jesus Name,
“Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me,
for in you I take refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
until the disaster has passed.
I cry out to God Most High,
to God, who vindicates me.
He sends from heaven and saves me,
rebuking those who hotly pursue me
God sends forth his love and his faithfulness.
I am in the midst of lions;
I am forced to dwell among ravenous beasts—
men whose teeth are spears and arrows,
whose tongues are sharp swords.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.
They spread a net for my feet—
I was bowed down in distress.
They dug a pit in my path—
but they have fallen into it themselves.
My heart, O God, is steadfast,
my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.
Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
I will praise you, Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.”
Psalm 57 NIV
© 2020 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.