God and Sexual Assault

Denial

Don't let Satan have a hold on you.

Would it be okay if I just ignored all the trauma I endured? Tried to pretend it didn’t even happen? As some have told me, just move on with my life…

Well, I know from experience denial makes life harder not easier. It is not the way to deal with trauma. Trying to “just forget” or deny I was ever sexually abused or raped made life harder and my physical symptoms greater.

I know a lady who suffers from bipolar disorder and major depression and only seeks a counselor when things get really bad to make it through those times. However, I also know she was sexually abused as a child and has readily told me she has chosen to forget it ever happened.

It’s not possible. I wish is was, I truly do, but our minds hold that trauma. I tried for years to deny what happened to me and move on without working through it or the effects it has on me. I ended up more depressed and anxious and in such a dark place I didn’t want to go on.

When I finally said, “Ok, yes that happened, it wasn’t okay, it was horrible, but there is hope to work through this and life can get better.” Then, I began to make progress in therapy.

My therapist has pointed out to me that Satan loves denial. He wants us to be in that place as we can’t be effective for God if we are ignoring the truth.

We can’t take what we have been through, how God is getting us through, and use it to further God’s kingdom if we stay in denial. God can take our horrible circumstances and use it for His good if we let Him.

This blog is one example of what God is able to do, yet writing for the world to see may not be how God has called you to use your trauma. Maybe it’s in one on one conversations with people you encounter, or in explaining all you went through and how you are getting through it with God’s help.

Maybe it’s in sharing your testimony in Sunday School, Bible study, a women’s group or retreat, or another group you attend. Maybe it will be in how you walk through each day with God’s help.

However, if we stay in denial none of those opportunities will come our way because we will be ignoring our past. The past is not something to forget, but to work through with the help of God and professionals. Healing is possible.

I truly believe it will happen for you and for me. I have experienced some healing from a few events I endured, and am working through more so I can tell you it’s possible to get better.

I pray you choose to stay out of denial and seek help for what you endured. Don’t let Satan tell you nothing happened or try to convince you to attempt to forget.

Healing is possible, and God can use what He is doing in your life to reach others for His Kingdom. May you have the strength and courage from God to face your past today and moving forward.

© 2020 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.

 

I am a former elementary school teacher and I am currently in the process of recovering from a childhood of sexual abuse and rape. I am pursuing God's will for my life right now which involves following various writing endeavors and working on some publishing. I feel God has led me to write this for my own healing, and to share with others who have been through the trauma of sexual assault.

1 comment on “Denial

  1. Linda M Ellis

    LOVE your words! Needed the reminder. If we try to “forget” our bodies still remember… until we deal with our past.

    Like

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