The other day as I was having my morning time with God I got emotional and started to cry. I began to think about a new trauma I remembered and I had the usual questions come up.
“Why? How could he? Why did she allow it? What did I do to deserve it?”
I began to go from grief and sadness to anger. It wasn’t long before my entire time with God was derailed. I picked up my journal and began to write, but I was still extremely angry. As I shared this with my counselor he pointed out that is what Satan wants. He wanted to derail my time with God and what He wants me to do that day. If I’m not seeking God I’m not a threat to Satan or what he is trying to do in this world.
Getting angry is okay. Everyone – even Jesus – has gotten angry. It is when we begin to make an agreement that is goes off the wall. For example, relishing the anger and simmering in it. Allowing it to start to consume you instead of realizing it for what it is. A secondary emotion to whatever else you are experiencing. For me it was grief and sadness that day.
However, I had started to dwell in it. I thought I was closer to forgiveness of my abusers before that, and then, another step back in my opinion. That’s not really the case, though it seems like it. Every time you deal with a new trauma you have new emotions to deal with. The forgiveness is not a “one and done” thing. It is a step by step process as you work through each event and each moment during the event.
Understanding this and that I am not taking a step back, but rather forward by realizing my emotions now and being able to bring them to God. Allowing Him to help me as I process through them in a counseling session. That is progress.
To do this we must be aware of Satan trying to take us the opposite direction of healing. We need to put on the armor of God and stay in His presence to be able to handle our history.
That brought me to the scripture God directed me to this morning in Ephesians chapter 6. Putting on the armor of God. (I love how God weaves the days together as we allow Him to.)
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” Ephesians 6:10-11
We are not powerless. We have the ultimate power to beat Satan by calling him out in Jesus name and putting on the armor God provides to us every single day. Place that armor on and you are ready for battle. I pray you are able to do that and continue in your healing process as God leads you.
I bind Satan from me in Jesus name. Place your mighty armor on me as I head into another day. Keep Satan from allowing me to make agreements that will hurt me or my healing. Remind me that in You I have all the power and I need to kick him out of my thoughts. Guide and direct me each day as I seek to do Your will and allow You to heal the brokenness inside of me. Thank You for the power You provide.
In Jesus Name,
© 2020 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.