God and Sexual Assault

Never Abandoned

There's another in the fire.

I remember when my life started to fall apart about 13 years ago, I felt abandoned by God. What are you doing to me? Why me God? What did I ever do?

I got really angry at Him and continued to be angry and blame Him for all that happened to me. After all, He is God right? If He wanted, He could have stopped anything bad from happening to me.

I still somehow thought that being a Christian guaranteed this pain free life. Nope. That is not the truth. The truth is what we are told in the Bible, that in this world we will have troubles. The promise though, is that Jesus came and beat sin and death, which is where our hope lies.

However, as I was remembering things that happened to me, having flashbacks and nightmares, waking up sweating and screaming, I wondered where God was in my pain.

There were sessions I would say things to my counselor like, “Well, He did let it happen so it’s God’s fault.” He would gently let me know that was something I needed to resolve with God. My counselor couldn’t help me understand that God didn’t abandon me and cause my pain.

I had to take it to God and let Him know over and over again how much I hurt, and ask Him where He was in the darkness. I didn’t get answers right away. The answers only came over the years as I opened up communication with God again. As I began to read His word, and hold fast to the treasures He has in there.

I came to understand that nothing can separate me from God and His love. However, my decisions and choices (or other people’s choices that affect me) can make me feel separated from Him.

God tells us that nothing can separate us from Him and His love. In Romans we are reminded of this:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

I am constantly amazed when I open my eyes how God reminds me He’s with me. I was writing this post, and had K-LOVE radio on and the song “Another in the Fire” came on. The words describe what we have experienced with trauma and recovering from it. We were in the fire, but we were not alone.

The songs says, “There was another in the fire, Standing next to me, There was another in the waters, Holding back the seas.” And after a few more verses says, “And I know I will never be alone.”

I don’t just take this song for what it says as truth, but that it is based on the word of God. God showed in scripture He was literally with people in the fire. (See Daniel 3:10-25)

I wish I could make this seem true to you, but I can’t. This is something you will have to search out with God. Conversations between you and God to allow Him to remind you who He is.

I pray you are able to do this my friends. The freedom in realizing you are never alone, even when no human is with you, is amazing and makes your heart soar on days when life feels heavy.

© 2021 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.   

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