God and Sexual Assault

God’s Hand

Guiding us along the way.

As I look back over my life, I continue to see how God uses things to show me who He is. For example, I was working through some things in my counseling session and my counselor was talking about how when someone places their hand on your back it is a show of support and lets you know they are with you.

I had a few things come to mind with this picture. First, was back in my teenage years, I was an avid flute player. I went to contest every year and at that time you had to memorize your piece. It was natural for me to learn music, but to memorize it was a whole new ballgame.

So, to help me, when I played for people, I would close my eyes and picture the music in my head. It was the visual that I needed and it helped me not to be distracted by other people in the room while I was performing.

My senior year, I was playing a beautiful French piece and I felt really good about how well I could play it. As I entered the room at district contest it was full of all of my peers and a few of the band directors I’d had over time. One of them was a lady, Ms. Henry, who had been my Junior High Band director, but worked with the marching band in high school too.

I introduced my piece, looked at my accompanist, and then closed my eyes and came in at the appropriate time. I played my song and was feeling good about how I had done, and as I finished I opened my eyes. To my horror I was no longer facing the people in the room, but instead I was facing the wall that had been behind me.

I truly wanted to disappear at that moment. I could hear everyone trying not to laugh, and now I can’t blame them because it truly is funny. (Even to me now, though at the moment it wasn’t.) It must have been quite amusing to watch. I slowly turned around and took my bow, and then I looked at the judge. He said, “You probably don’t ever want to play on a stage.”

I acknowledge his comment and then mortified, I proceeded to leave the room. I started to cry as I entered the hallway and I crouched down by the wall. As I did so, Ms. Henry came up to me and placed her hand on my back. She then told me encouraging words which I don’t specifically recall, but what stuck with me was her support of me. Her hand placed on my back let me know I was supported no matter how I did.

As I thought about this yesterday in my session, I thought, “Wow, that is exactly what God does for us.” Granted God doesn’t place His physical hand on us, but He is always with us. He is always our support and He is guiding us through this life with His hand on us.

So, as you continue to recover from trauma, imagine God’s hand on your back or holding your hand. He is with you no matter whether you feel it or not. Believe me, I have been through years where I questioned if He still was, but I promise He is there with you. He will never leave you or forsake you.

Trust God is guiding you today and is your ultimate support. Ask Him to show you His presence and then look for it. You will be amazed at how He shows himself to you.

© 2021 Susan M. Clabaugh. All Rights Reserved.

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